Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
