Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
