the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm at about main and main street
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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