Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i dont even know how to be here
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
