It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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