What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
