it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
