Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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