woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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