omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
