Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
