Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We need to rekindle our bromance
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
