Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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