going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
