sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
