im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
