Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
