its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
