After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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