...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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