Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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