I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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