dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
