i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
