Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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