do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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