a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
either way he was missing a nipple.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This baby is an asshole
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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