do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
