last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
