I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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