I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i think i just lost a toe
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
