I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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