chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
