ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
