Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
