It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
