its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
