I'm really into asian looking animals
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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