you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
