He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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