Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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