I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My liver just had a heart attack.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
