Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
