Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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