Define "chronic" masturbator.
just tell him i said nine months
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize