i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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