so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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