oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
