where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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