The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Randomize
