He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
