Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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