i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
