my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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