Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
