I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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