when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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