why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so let's talk penis.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
