the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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