I got chris browned last night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
