She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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