If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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