Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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