If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
