I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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