i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
